We all have times when we don’t feel confident or are even worried about what we’re supposed be doing. Often the reason for the worry is that we’re not certain what we should be doing.
For example, when you first start a new job, it’s hard to feel confident, particularly if you don’t know much about the job and what’s expected of you. The same goes for other new or unusual tasks as well. The less we prepared we are, the harder it becomes to feel confident.
The solution is simple. Be prepared.
Do what you can to be prepared for the situation. The action of preparing alone will make you feel more confident. Of course, the new knowledge you learn and the skills you’re acquiring while you’re preparing doesn’t hurt either.
Start by learning more about what will be expected of you. Talk to the person in charge of hiring you for the new job, chat with future colleagues, have the person currently holding your job give you a quick...
I’m sure you’ve heard the expression “Fake It ‘Till You Make It”. It’s most often used in the context of entrepreneurship and entertainment. The idea is to act like you’re a big deal and great success until you actually are. While it may sound odd at first, it turns out that faking it actually works.
It makes you pay attention to what the people that have already made it in your chosen business or career, do on a daily basis. How do they act, talk, dress, and what are their habits? You have to first start to pay attention and figure those things out, and then you start to model or copy them.
In the end, you start to develop some of the same habits successful people have and as a result you yourself will hopefully become more successful.
Of course, being perceived as a big deal by those around you doesn't hurt either.
Here’s where things get interesting for us.
It turns out that faking confidence...
I have some tough words to share with you today and for some of you, it will not be the easiest thing to read or accept. Believe me, if we are going to be successful in growing our confidence, we all may need to make a real positive change in our lives when it comes to embracing the spirit of complaining.
Complaining Does You No Good
I get it. It feels good to complain and let off a little steam from time to time. I’m not saying you should never complain and I’m not saying that there isn’t a time and a place when you should launch a legitimate complaint. What I’m trying to tell you is that it’s often a waste of time to whine and complain about your situation.
Complaining without action and a desire to bring about change does you no good and actually hurts your self-confidence. When you focus on complaining, you’re embracing the role of a victim and that’s not a powerful role at all. It’s a passive, accepting what’s...
When you are struggling with negative confession and negative thnking, I want to share another strategy with you. It’s something I use regularly that helps me shift my mindset. And it never fails to bring things back in perspective and makes me take action.
It’s simple, but very powerful. Here’s what you do:
Ask yourself: “What’s The Worst That Could Happen?”
Sit down and really put some thought into this. Imagine everything and anything that could possibly go wrong. Use your imagination and go all out. It may seem counterproductive at first, but there’s method to the madness.
When you lay it all out, you force yourself to face the worst possible outcome. One important reason why this simple little mental exercise is important is that it makes you realize that the worst outcome isn't all that bad and something you can live with.
Just as important is that you discover that this “horrible” outcome isn't terribly...
Let's be honest...all of us have heard that little voice in our heads telling us that we don’t need to do this, we should have to do this, or we can’t do this anyway, so why even try. Have you ever called yourself names after making a critical mistake, berating yourself for what had happened?
e examples of negative thinking and negative self-talk. While we are still working on improving our self-confidence and courage, it’s not uncommon to have quite a bit of this negative thinking going on. When we listen to that “little voice” in our head, we have to be aware that we are partnering with negative thinking and negative self-talk.
But what we all need to realize is, when we have negating thinking or self-talk, it’s an internal protection mechanism of sorts.
When we are lacking confidence, we aren’t actually sure that we can do what we set out to do. Our mind then tries to protect us by talking us out of giving it a try. After all, if you...
We all have things we want to do and look forward too, and things we dread doing. Roasting a chicken for dinner may be something you enjoy, while cleaning the toilet doesn’t make that list.
While it would be fun to only do the things we enjoy, that isn’t feasible. What we can do, is use the things we’re good at, the things we enjoy doing, and the things that make us happy. We can us these things to boost our confidence so we have the energy and will-power to do the things we don’t like as much, but that also need to get done.
It’s very draining when everything we need to do each day are things we don’t enjoy. Our entire attitude is negative and it feels like an uphill battle. We feel defeated from step one.
We’ve all had those days, or even times in our lives and it’s not a good feeling. It’s important to make sure you do something regularly that you’re good at, take pride in, and that you enjoy. It doesn’t have to...
So far we’ve talked a lot about different ways to boost our self-confidence and how to feel better about ourselves. While that’s certainly important, there will be bad days and there will be times when we suffer setbacks.
No one is confident and courageous every single day of their life. No matter how much self-confidence you possess, there will be days where you’re feeling low and there will be times when your feeling of self-worth is tested.
It is part of life and it’s ok.
Let’s take a look at why it’s ok and how to work through these bad days and setbacks that are part of life for all of us.
Without The Dark We Wouldn’t Notice The Light
I know it sounds cliché, but without the dark, we wouldn’t really appreciate the light. We need some bad times and setback in our lives because they make us appreciate the good times even more than before.
The same holds true for the tough times. They make it seem that much sweeter...
Let’s talk about goals and how they can help you boost your confidence. Goals help in many areas of our lives. They help us get more done. They can help us move forward more quickly in life, work, or school more quickly. Not only that, they also force us to think about what we want, break it down into actionable items, and set a deadline.
With SMART goals like that in place, you’ll be making substantial progress in no time. That in turn will give you a big boost in confidence. As a result, the confidence that you gain is all you need to get the courage to tackle your next set of goals.
Let’s look at this process a little closer. The first step is to determine what you want. What is your specific goal going to be? Notice that I said specific.
Wanting to lose weight, get in shape, or having a lot of money in the bank are a starting thought, but not a real goal. If you don’t know how much weight you want to lose, you don’t...
Having a good reason to be confident, brave, and courageous can be a huge help. We’ve already looked at how reflection, gratitude, and even doing the things you’re scared of helps you do them anyway and how it starts to build this habit of being courageous and confident.
Today I have another helpful concept to share with you. We make time for and work on the things that are important to us. We can use that concept to our advantage when it comes to courage and self-confidence.
In other words, I want you to start creating these new habits by focusing on what’s important to you. It’s much easier to work on courage and increase self-confidence with tasks that you enjoy and that have meaning to you. Don’t worry about feeling like you “should” do something. That can come later. For now, let’s start with what you’re passionate about.
Let’s say that...
So far a lot of what I’ve shared in The Confidence Challenge has been mostly mindset stuff. Don’t get me wrong, that’s important and I will continue to share more throughout the Challenge. But there’s also something to be said for simple, actionable tips or “confidence hacks”. That’s what today’s blog post is all about.
It’s simple and something you can, and should do today. While it’s simple, it’s not always the easiest thing to do. The idea is to pick something you’re scared of (or worried about, or putting off because you’re not sure you can do it) and do it anyway.
I challenge you to start doing this today and then continue it as often as possible. Going forward, you should be doing something that scares you several times per week.
Obviously, what you pick to do will be very individual and different from person to person. That being said, it helps to look at some ideas to get...